And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
