the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
