Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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