he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
