party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
