Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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