I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
