Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
