god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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