That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
