Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize