dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
false alarm, still single
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
