those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
