Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's rum buckets o'clock
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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