omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
