you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
