we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
