you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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