Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
