why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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