U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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