She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
