So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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