jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
