If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
