so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
