In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
