Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i out mim tonsoeep
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