the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
