My sheets look like a crime scene.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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