Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
