OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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