time to smoke my breakfast
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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