You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
