Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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