No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
