You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize