I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
