I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
