I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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