boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
