So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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