So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am mentally ready for anal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
