If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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