Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
