"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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