i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
handjob tips. give me some.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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