i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
