? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
