is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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