She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
