Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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