No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you win again, gameday.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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