that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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