i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
