your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
