i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I AM VODKA MAN
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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