He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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