she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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