so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
