yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
