I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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