Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
