I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
