Just cropdusted the office
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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