thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
